Kathy’s Lament

As the last post attests, I pontificate about writing on behalf of my daughter. It is her prose that requires unfettering.  I have posted a small piece she sent me at the start of fall semester. You’ll see why. I thought I had done this already but see it blinking at me on the title bar as a draft. oops!

On Speaking; or, Talking is Hard

You’ve got words all tangled up on your tongue. You know it. You can taste them. Sometimes they are bright words, like cherry and silver and catywampus and whirling and twirling and shimmer and sunshine. Sometimes they are dark words, like fragrant and heavy and ponderous and gratifying and stultifying and rain and pain.

Sometimes your bright words and your dark words get all flip-flopped on your tongue and in your thoughts and you are tasting melancholy, melancholy, and you don’t know how to hand it off to anyone else for a bittersweet taste of the words that are all up in you.

Often your words are so mixed up, fixed up, stitched up that they don’t feel free and they don’t feel real. What were you going to say and why. How does it relate. Do you know what you’re saying. Do you know what they’re saying. Do you know anything at all.

Sometimes you think you must just be slow, low, under the other ducks all lined up in a row; you must be silly, frilly, an upside-down-lily, because sometimes you just can’t keep up at all.

Other times you think it is not being low or silly so much as it is being distracted, refracted, caught all up without knowing how you should have acted. You’re thinking, perusing, full of feeling like not-losing; but really, you don’t know if right is what you are choosing or correct is what you are loosing.

You’ve got it all muddled up in you, all this thought, fraught, a secret, magical draught; it mellows and billows and you feel like one of those tall, slender willows, but none of it matters because under it all, the muddle and fuddle and puddle, you’re still just confused and bemused and oddly amused because really—

What can be said that hasn’t already been used?


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